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Thursday, April 22, 2004

'i want u to cut my hair short'
'as short as u wish'
'with a tail at the back'

in the end, its just a bloody trim.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Lesson 43

what u want:

the lights turned off. a touch that's gentle, slow, provocative, that builds u up, that makes u want it too much. an orgasm; it doesnt have to b at the same time as the man, just one orgasm so that u know what everyones talking abt. eye contact. a quick coming thats not on ur breasts or on ur face. holding afterwards, skin to skin. oral sex, precisely where u ask, for as long n as soft n as slow as u'd like. sex thats uncomplicated, w no ties, where the man will do exactly wat u want. claiming happiness for urself: ure too used to focusing on ur partner's pleasure at the expense of ur own


what u do not want:

to suck a penis. the smell of stale smoke. a tongue in ur ear. underwear involving satin or g-strings or leopard print or lace. the vaginal sex to go on too long. a thrusting so hard that it burns, it hurts. swallowing. breast sucking, breast llicking, breast anything. to b asked what r u thinking. for it to b pushed upon u when ure tired, grubby, not yet wet. being pinned down. a rush to get in. a penis that's too big. loud snorting at climax, or groaning or any expression like 'ooh yes, baby' and 'c'mom'. for the roll-over after the coming to b too abrupt. to b kicked out too quick.


what u love:

the arch of the foot, its bones, rake-splayed. wide, blunt, clean fingernails. michelangelo wrists. cleanliness. the nape of ur neck nuzzled. ur eyelids kissed. burrowing deep under the blankets. clothes to b drawn off slowly, in exquisite anticipation. cold, smooth alls u r rammed against. the sound of a lover's breath close to ur ear. ur hair pulled back when he's inside. ur name spoken aloud just b4 he comes. connecting, a holiness fluttering within u both. seduction that's slow, intriguing, unique, by flattery, extravagant gestures, text: poem scraps on napkins, filthy emails that shld never b sent, love letters scrawled on underground passes, a line composed in lipstick on ur back as u sleep, written backwards, to b read in the mirror; oh yes. all that.


the bride stripped bare.

Monday, April 19, 2004

the more i think abt it, the more i know w/out a doubt that they r wrong.
all wrong for me.

maybe we all had our own selfish reasons for wanting to go on an expedition to india.
maybe some wanted to 'beef up' their cvs.
maybe some wanted a cheap holiday.
(afterall, our leader said we only needed to foot s200 for a 3 wks 'holiday' -- flight, accomodation n fd provided.)

yes, im selfish too.
im using this opportunity to get out of spore.
a very valid reason in my parent's eyes.
yes, im selfish bcoz i want to go there to take pics of india (not to build a community hall)
for how often wld i have the chance to mingle w the locals n take them unaware?

but then, ive made sure that watever i do, its not at the expense of the kids in india.
w only 6 wks left,
my teammates r more concerned w finding sponsors for our t-shirts than finding sponsors to provide the kids w textbooks, clothes n toys.
(yes, i cld have gotten the tees for them for free. but ive blatantly refused. i dont c the need being justified.)
my teammate even had the cheek to put down 'banana boat' as a potential sponsor just so they dont have to pay for their sunblock.
as jo nicely puts it 'the kids in india dont use sunblock.'

some mite think that 6 wks is more than enough to raise the necessary funds.
but, they have yet to take a look at our 'productivity' rate
it took both our leaders 5 days to get everybody's name.
i waited 2 weeks even though i explictly stated in my email that i wanted an ans within 3 days b4 someone finally replied to my fund-raising questions
(but then again, all he did was to assign work to me. wtf.)

to them, money drops down from the high n gracious heavens.

i hate it i hate it i hate it.

fucking incompetent incumbents.


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