Saturday, January 17, 2004
from wat ive seen/heard, we r a disgruntled lot.
simply judging from the numerous blogs ive read,
more than half of their entries r complaints.
its so tiresome for the readers. (esp me)
therefore, i shall learn to b contented.
after ive mastered the art of perfection.
*smiles
the perfect life
the perfect holiday
the perfect job
the perfect gf
the perfect house
the perfect hobbies
the perfect music
the perfect fantasies
the perfect family
the perfect country
the perfect _____________ (fill in the blanks)
this afternoon, ive received an sms from one of my sngs classmates n it goes like this --
'hi, all ex sngs girls r invited to MS on xxth jan. doors wld b open from 9pm w a cover charge of only 15bucks w free flow of drinks till 1130pm. pls feel free to invite your frenz. this event is organised by D n friends.'
my initial thot was...
'???? what the hell is MS?'
n my next thot was....
'???? where the hell is MS?'
n then, it hit me,
D is a financial planner. n i bet so r the rest of the organisers.
excellent.
wat better way of getting pple's contacts when their guards r let down, when they r drunk?
wat bollocks.
sngs gathering indeed.
we must have looked like cash cows to them.
financial planners aka insurance agents r becoming more n more ingenious/resourceful/scheming.
(ok, maybe, D n co did it out of gdwill n im too much of a cynic. n if thats the case, my deepest apologies.)
one last moooooooooooo n im checking out.
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
before, when i had almost nothing to give,
it had been more than enough
but now, when i think ive lots more to offer,
its not enough.
never enough.
*smiles.
i think they like them stupid.
they prefer those who dont have a mind of their own.
they wld then b easier to manipulate, easier to order ard to do their biddings.
afterall, who doesnt like to b treated like a princess?
--
to give n give n give.
till ure dead.
n then give somemore.
thats the order of the day.
--
yes n im sorry i cant give u wat u want.
n i never will.
last night, b4 running off for supper, i asked my mom if she wanted anything.
'mommy yao ras'
n she started crying.
*roars
--
i want my mom not to start crying the moment she returns home each night.
i want ras to come back.
'bring her back sweety'
but i cant.
im not god.
--
i dont want cal to come back from ns.
i dont want to b the one who breaks the news to him.
i dont want to c that hulking figure break down n cry.
i dont want i dont want i dont want.
--
grief strengthens bonds.
im closer to my mom now.
even though it mite b just a temporary thing.
maybe when we r tired of all the 'wat if's n '?'s we wld return to being strangers.
--
shld there b a next death,
i pray that im overseas. (my dad has actually given me permission to do so for this cny.)
i love running away from everything.
--
cold.
first u attach n then u detach.
then ull b invincible.
'just go'
Monday, January 12, 2004
for those who have seen my dog n those who never did, listen up. u r gonna read this whether u want to or not. i feel like being a tyrant for today so u better humour me.
my dog, rascal, was involved in an accident today.
--
my uncle left the gate open, as was his usual custom
n ras dashed out of the house (sneaky girl)
for the first time in her timid life, ras ran onto the main road
where she was promptly knocked down by a lorry n died on impact.
the careless driver didnt even bother to stop his lorry.
(may he b haunted forever by the sound of bones crunching beneath his wheels)
my uncle witnessed the accident n was too stunned to carry ras so a kind passerby stopped to do so.
he placed ras under a tree which happened to b opp the one which we had buried our previous dog.
so there laid ras, my (*&$$%#^ dog.
--
while all these were happening, guess wat was i doing?
sleeping.
n i slept for another 4 hrs.
only when my mom came back w lunch did she inform me abt ras.
i stood impassively at the doorway of my loo watching my mom cry.
i even managed to calmly eat my lunch n read my papers.
--
n then, i went out to chk on ras.
i wanted to cut a lock of ras' whitest hair near her belly but my mom refused.
she wanted ras to go off complete.
--
*roars.
we cremated ras w her fave leash n toys.
--
i knew i shld have played w her last nite.
--
i knew i shld have taken more pics of her. a roll, 20, 40.
but i couldnt.
she moves too fast for me to capture her down on film.
--
the lim family is not fated to keep any dogs.
they never last more than 3 yrs
n they never do die of natural causes.
Sunday, January 11, 2004
i love party bears
spent the whole day w my nose in my bk to avoid unnecessary conversations w relatives.
uncle: do pple in uk read alot?
flo: no lah, this is my fren's bk.
uncle walked away apparently satisfied w my ans.
(maybe he was not paying attention to my absurd reply)
only when the words came out of my mouth did i realise that i didnt ans his qn entirely.
jo had once pointed out that i dont seem to ans her qns in a str8forward manner.
but i protest, its not my fault, i do it unconsciously.
while replying, i honestly thot those were the correct ans that she/they were seeking for.
i believe im a closet retard.
----joraffe----
