Friday, January 24, 2003
dropped my earring so now, ive stuffed a toothpick thru.
multi-purposes of a toothpick.
but its always in between gaps.
(either ur teeth or earhole)
*breaks the chains that binds her feet*
im free! yes i am!
no longer am i known as 1729577
(student id no)
i now have back my proper name.
*kisses the ground*
feels gd to have my freedom.
*throws the chains away*
but like most prisoners,
im suddenly at a lost.
when i was in the cage,
i couldnt choose wat i wanted to do.
i had to study or else......
stuck in my restlessness,
i had so many dreams
but now, oh now,
its a different feeling
so strange and weird.
*clams the chains back on her feet*
ridiculous as it might seem
i think i prefer to go back to wats old n familiar.
studying is far less scarier than trekking thru an unfamiliar terrain.
is that y all but 1 of my frenz r doing masters?
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
this is it.
ive finally made up my mind.
(though its a very hard n painful decision
but the time has finally come.
ive bidded my time for this day. 230103)
today would b the very last time
i would allow myself to think of u.
never again will i let my frenz bring up the mention of ur name.
ive hung on long enough to u.
after tonite, i will burn.
burn everything that is related to u.
everything that u have touched.
everything that has your name on it.
everything, i swear.
this would close another chapter in my life.
i would never care for u.
i would never make myself love u.
i would never call my frenz to ask how r u doing.
n all this i solemly swear upon my name.
(to my readers, just in case u r wondering who i was referring to, its my industrial organisation module. the worst one amongst my 6 modules for this sem, filled with lots of graphs and statistics. i have no idea how to study for it. nothing makes sense to me.)
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
music for your tummy:
kevin kern -- childhood remembered.
dreamily thoughtful piece of work with a slight tinge of asian influence in it's melancholy melody.
so entranced by it,
that i wonder if i can work it into my play as a sense of foreboding.
btw, i think this piece of music fits the picture in my blog.
has anyone heard of this song b4?
my fren asked me to try to get hold of it.
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble,
it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
"Desiderata" was written by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945)
Sunday, January 19, 2003
a snippet from my current play.
and so the 3 boys huddle tightly.
a torch hanging from the top of the tent acts as their only source of light.
for the first time, the boys are serious.
they bite their index finger and let the blood drip into a cup in front of them.
they stir the mixture together.
'to frenship', they cheered.
'all for one n one for all' added another solemnly.
suddenly, the torch flickers n blacks out.
cursing in french are heard.
sounds of crashing follows.
(noises of stepping on each other n toppling stuff over)
more cursing in french.
light is switched on to reveal boys in a tent in their room.
everything is in a mess.
boys in crumpled heap.
cup is toppled with the blood spilling on the carpet.
even more curses in french.
'all our blood for naught' grumbled the youngest boy.
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